THE PROPOSAL

After the writer submits a query letter to an agent or editor, if the project fits the agency’s or publisher’s interests, they will request a proposal. So, how do you write a proposal?

Begin with a cover letter. This is similar to the query. In the first paragraph, remind the editor that he asked for the proposal. In the last paragraph, describe the enclosures.

 The next page is the title page. Your name and contact information single-spaced and in block-style goes in the upper left-hand corner. Using 36-point and italicizing, center the title. Make it five words or less, have it be catchy, and indicate something about the story.

A table of contents is optional. If you use one, place it after the title page.

 The executive summary introduces the project in a succinct form. Often the editor will make a preliminary decision based only on a scan of this summary and a few of the submitted pages. Write its nine points in an outline form. The first point is the title. Follow with: the genre and sub genre, then the high concept sentence, the target audience, the length, indicate whether the project is polished and available or give a completion date, next comes a one paragraph summary, then a short one-paragraph biography. End with a short marketing summary.

 Ideally, a high-concept one-liner contains twenty-five words or less. Confine yourself to one or two major characters and stay with one thread of the story. Show how the character is in conflict and use words that promote empathy.

 Be specific about the target readers. Select them based on their worldview, interests, gender, age, or anything that narrows down the pool of readers to indicate particular people to whom the marketing should aim.

 The word count for adult fiction runs between 60,000 and 120,000 words, depending on the genre and the publisher. Always check guidelines before you submit.

 The next page of the proposal contains the competition. Research Amazon.com and find three to five books in your genre. List their titles and authors. For each one, write a short paragraph summary and tell how it is similar to and different from your work.

 Though not mandatory, you can include character sketches. Write approximately a page for each major character. Include any essential back story, their goals, and how they relate to the story.

 A two-page single-spaced or a three- to five-page double-spaced synopsis comes next. Write it in third person present tense. Focus on the main plot points and write them in order, showing the story’s beginning, middle, and end. The first time a character appears, write his name in capital letters. Open with a hook that contains the main character and a crisis. Show how he intends to solve the crisis. Be sure to include motivations and emotions.

An expanded version of your biography comes next. Write it in third person. List your credits, pertinent education, and life experiences.

 The all important marketing section appears last. The editor wants to know about your platform and who you can reach through organizations, speaking engagements, columns. Include the URLs of your website and/or blog.

 Your well-written proposal is the first step in a long process. If the editor is interested, he’ll ask for the complete manuscript. If he likes that, he passes it on to the first of several committees that ultimately decide whether the book will be published.—Quinn

 

HOW TO WRITE THE QUEST--Plot Part Two

While the quest may involve action, this plot form is character driven rather than action driven. The main character (MC) goes on a journey in which he seeks some object, person, or place. Along the way, he encounters new things and meets new people. By the end of his search, he has grown in some manner. As in all stories, there is a beginning, a middle, and an end.

In the opening scenes, the writer identifies the MC along with a motivating incident in the form of an obstacle, a loss, or a challenge. He has the MC explain why he is going on the quest, what he thinks he is looking for, and how he will define success.

The Wizard of Oz presents Dorothy as an unhappy Kansas farm girl who feels unappreciated and needs to save her beloved dog from a neighbor who is trying to kill it. She runs away to a carnival where a worker convinces her to return home.

The middle is the journey in which the MC fights and loses a series of battles. He has at least one traveling companion with whom he interacts, a helpful character, and a nemesis. The companion has his own motivations for joining the MC, and the obstacles effect a change in him as well.

When Dorothy arrives home, she encounters her first major obstacle, a tornado that picks up her house and transports her over the rainbow. The helpful character, the good witch Glenda, tells her to follow the Yellow Brick Road to the City of Oz where a powerful wizard might help her find a way back to Kansas. Dorothy decides to go in quest of Oz. However, the Wicked Witch of the West has a grudge against her and places obstacle after obstacle in her path. Along the way, three companions join her. The Tin Man believes the wizard can give him a new heart, the Scarecrow wants a brain, and the Cowardly Lion needs to find courage.

At the end of the story, there is self-doubt followed by a final battle which determines whether the quest is successful or not. Afterwards, the MC reveals what he has discovered and how he has changed.

Dorothy finds Oz, and her companions discover what they desired was within them all the time. However, since the wizard turns out to be a fraud, Dorothy believes she will never see home again. She receives hope when the wizard decides to ride a balloon over the rainbow. But hope is dashed when she misses her ride. Glenda appears and tells Dorothy that her ruby slippers can take her home. Dorothy returns to Kansas with a new attitude. She now believes true happiness is found in one’s own backyard.

The Quest is a plot form used since ancient times. Gilgamesh sets out to find immortality. Jason seeks the Golden Fleece. While he tries to right wrongs, Don Quixote searches for Dulcinea. Lord Jim attempts to regain his honor. As they journey toward their goals, each changes in some manner.—Quinn

HOW TO PORTRAY EMOTIONS--BODY LANGUAGE

People read fiction for a vicarious emotional experience. Therefore, it is the author’s job to “hook” the reader and sustain his interest by building an emotional arc which promotes empathy for the character while driving the story forward. This is accomplished through the use of visceral reactions, thoughts, and body language. The character’s feelings draw the reader into the story and allow him to share the character’s emotional experience. Let’s look at Mac’s encounter with a thug.

Mac looked into the store’s barred windows. After the police car passed him and rounded the corner, he walked past the rats and overflowing garbage cans that lined the street.

A man bumped into him.

Big Spike Malone, the Bull Dog’s errand boy. They know I have the merchandise.

Mac prepared to fight.

 The snippet tells us that Mac is going to fight an unsavory character that has bumped into him. It’s interesting but about as exciting as a newspaper account. We don’t know who Mac is or why he is walking up the street. He could be a store owner, a courier, a customer that just left a store. He could be nonchalant or scared half to death. Let’s add some body language.

Mac’s throat constricted. He flipped up his trench coat’s collar and stared through the barred windows into the dilapidated store until the crawling patrol car passed him. As soon as it turned the street corner, he let out his breath and patted the packet of diamonds in his breast pocket. Lowering his head, he passed rats and the overflowing garbage cans lining the street and hurried in the opposite direction from the cops.

A man bumped his shoulder. Hard. Then stopped.

 Mac cocked one eyebrow, spun around, and, looking up at the man’s Adam’s Apple, gulped. Big Spike Malone. The Bull Dog’s errand boy. They know I have the merchandise.

 As he stood rooted to the gum splotched sidewalk, his pulse ratcheted to overdrive. Then a flush wafted over his face. He drew his eyebrows together and darted a sideways glance toward the street corner. A crooked smile screwed up his lips. He lowered his chin and raised his fists.

Now we know a lot more about Mac. The constricted throat, the raised collar, and the attempt to hide his face show he has some reason to be afraid of the police. Patting the diamonds and quickly putting distance between the police and himself further betrays nervousness. Could he be a thief? He identifies Spike, gulps, and freezes, presumably fearful of what the huge thug could do to him. Max is not a cop, so why does he know Spike is a gangster? Is Max part of the mob too? The glance toward the corner shows he is still cautious of the police, but the crooked smile, the tucked chin, and the fists show he has courage and confidence and is ready to fight the much larger man over the diamonds, which are probably stolen.

To help draw your reader into the story world, show the character’s actions and body language. Let the reader see what he sees, hear what he hears, and feel what he feels both physically and emotionally.--Quinn.

HOW TO PORTRAY EMOTIONS--INNER DIALOGUE

In previous discussions, we learned emotion is a reaction to a motivator. When writing about emotional reaction, we break it into its components. First, there is an involuntary visceral reaction to the stimulant (fight or flight mechanism), followed by thought, then dialogue and/or action. These steps must come in chronological order or the reader feels unsettled. We’ll look at methods for portraying thoughts.

The point of view character (POV) can express his thoughts through the use of Inner Dialogue. With his own voice, he can emote, reflect, and make observations. He can fantasize, reveal hurts, desires. He can discuss things he’d never say aloud or act upon.

In third person, there are two ways of doing this. The first is by expressing the thought in first person. This sets it off from the narration. Used sparingly, it is always placed in italics. The second way is by leaving the words in third person and allowing the context to show they are thought. Italics are never used and tags (he thought, she pondered) are rarely used. It is intimate and when done correctly the line between inner dialogue and description is blurred. This promotes smooth transitions back and forth between description and the POV’s thoughts.

The following is an excerpt from my novel Echoes. The POV character is former linguistics professor Dr. Alejandro de Cordoba de la Rosa, now a foreign agent who is tracking an arms shipment that was sent from his country in South America to California. Working incognito, he has presented himself to a semi-rural community as an immigrant day laborer who has limited English. I’ve underlined his inner dialogue.

A purring engine approached. Tires skidded on the gravel, and a dusty GMC truck crunched to a stop by the barn.

“Hey, Alejandro.” Dr. Crossman jumped from the cab, agile as a man half his eighty-five years.

Alejandro leaned on the axe handle and nodded.

The old man whistled at the woodpile. “A job well done, my friend.” He pulled out his wallet and handed his worker three crisp twenties. His gaze rested on Alejandro’s arm. “That’s quite a scar you got there, son. Looks fairly recent. I got a couple just like it at Normandy.”

Alejandro buried the axe blade in the chopping block and stuffed the bills in a pocket of his baggies. Reaching for the shirt that hung on a fence post, he chided himself. He’d have to be more careful. Keep quiet. Never do anything memorable. Never attract attention in any way. [he’s impatient with himself and reveals he’s hiding who he is]

“I’m heading down for a load of hay,” Crossman said. “If you’re interested in helping out, hop in.”

Alejandro stepped to the passenger door and glanced over his shoulder. A delivery truck had turned into the nursery’s driveway. It could be hauling anything. Plants. Guns. Fertilizer for manufacturing explosives. [shows he’s curious]

He swung onto the passenger seat, and the GMC lurched forward. His head jerked back as the door slammed shut. Heart pumping like a piston, he hunted for the seatbelt. The truck zoomed down the long driveway toward the bridge, turning the light shining through the trees into a high-speed strobe. On the narrow canyon road, the vehicle flew through twists and turns. He gulped. The old man was insane. [shows fear]

“You a praying man, son?” Crossman made eye contact, whizzed past a sign that said speed limit 30 mph, and barreled directly toward a knot of bicyclists.

Alejandro flinched and grabbed his armrest. “No, señor.” But he might become one soon. [fear for his safety is mounting]

“Where ya from?”

“Here, now.”

“Hmm…” Crossman chewed his toothpick. “Most immigrants I know are either running from something or searching for something. My guess is you’re a searcher.”

Alejandro shrugged.

“Or maybe you’re both. Running from something to find something.” Crossman stomped on the brakes, slamming Alejandro against his shoulder restraint. “Gotta watch it along this stretch. Sheriff hides on those rabbit trails, and he’s just plain unreasonable.” He craned his neck and waved at a half-hidden patrol car. Around the bend, he floored the accelerator. “Yep, too bad you’re not a prayer. Makes it a lot easier for a man to determine God’s plans for him.”

Alejandro kept his eyes straight ahead. He didn’t need help—except for surviving this trip. He knew his destiny. It involved putting a bullet in Esteban’s greasy face. [he is determined, fantasizes, and reveals more of his dark mission]

“Ya got a Green Card?”

“Sí.”

“How about a driver’s license?”

“Sí.” Both courtesy of Vito’s counterfeiters. [He’s thankful to his handlers and reveals more of who he is]

“Haven’t kept the ranch up like I did before the missus took ill. Our daughter’s helping out, but she has a boy at home that’s a handful. I’m impressed by your work. Would you be interested in $500 a week, the use of the cabin, credit at the grocers, Sundays, half Saturdays and holidays off?”

Alejandro grinned. “Sí, señor.” What could be better? A twenty-four-hour-a-day view of the nursery. [he’s delighted at his mission’s progress]


Unlike Dr. Crossman who thinks he has hired an immigrant day laborer, a common occurrence in his community, the reader sees that Alejandro is quite educated and has a dark mission he is keeping secret. Inner dialogue adds depth and intimacy with the POV character.—Quinn

 

HOW TO PORTRAY EMOTIONS--THE VISCERAL REACTION

In my blog on emotion (1/16/14), we looked at ways of demonstrating the point of view (POV) character’s feelings. Why are we interested? Because story is conflict or tension fueled by emotion. In response to a motivator (see The MRU 8/26/13), an internal reaction provides the reason for the POV’s response, which moves the story along.

The portrayal of an emotional reaction within a story is broken down and shown chronologically as it happens. Immediately after the motivation, there is a visceral response followed by thought then dialogue and/or action. If taken out of order, the reader feels unsettled.

So what is a visceral response? It is the fight or flight mechanism. Triggered by a threat, the body shuts down organs not necessary for survival and concentrates on those that do. Eyesight may narrow. Attention may concentrate on a particular sound. Adrenal glands may spurt adrenaline. There may be physical reactions like goose bumps or flushing. The contraction of the muscles in the stomach wall may cause nausea or butterflies.

The visceral response is the strongest indicator of an emotion that will activate a change in the POV’s mind. If powerfully written, the story world becomes real and vivid as the reader imagines the same emotion in his own body.

Ways to portray visceral reactions are with involuntary internal and physical reactions. Here are a few:

 Emotion                         Visceral Response

 Anger            Internal: body tense, heart pounding, face flushing

                       Physical: noisy breathing, protruding eyes, veins that pulse

 Fear               Internal: speechless, weak leg joints, rapid heartb
                       Physical: frozen to a spot, shaking, hair standing on end

 Love              Internal: flutters in stomach, tongue-tied, heart hammering

                       Physical: brightening, euphoria, nervousness

 Sympathy      Internal: ache in throat, emotionally strained
                       Physical: sad countenance, deep sighs, crying

 Never label an emotion. Show it. This allows the reader to experience it. And always depict the emotion as it progresses. When a sad person finds joy, show his sadness. Have the sadness go to wonder, then to belief, then to joy.

The second phase of an emotional response is thought. Next time we’ll investigate internal dialogue.—Quinn

HOW TO PORTRAY EMOTIONS

We’ve been talking about some of the elements of story, but what is story? Conflict. What fuels conflict? Emotion. Let’s see how emotion works by using a few examples.

            1.  She felt happy that Tim had returned.
            2.  He was annoyed since Tim was late.
            3.  He was angry that Tim showed up.
            4.  She was frightened that Tim found her.

 These are examples of telling rather than showing. They relate information about the characters reaction to Tim, but it is dry as a laundry list and doesn’t engage the reader. It’s the writer’s job to allow the reader to feel the character’s emotions. This holds the reader’s interest and pulls him into the story. First, let’s let the characters show how they feel about Tim by using dialogue.

            1. “Tim. It’s wonderful to see you.”     (happy)

            2.  “It’s about time, Tim.”                     (annoyed)
            3.  “Tim, how did you get in here?”      (angry)
            4.  “It’s Tim. Hide.”                               (frightened)

 Now we’ve stepped into the characters’ world. Through their voices, we hear what they feel about Tim’s appearance. Let’s get closer to the characters and add their visceral reactions.

            1. Warmth washed over her face. “Tim. It’s wonderful to see you.”

            2.  His jaw tightened. “It’s about time, Tim.”
            3.  He ground his teeth. “Tim, how did you get in here?”
            4.  Time seemed to stop. “It’s Tim. Hide.”

 Now we’re getting their primitive reactions to Tim. Let’s add their thoughts.

            1. Warmth washed over her face. “Tim. It’s wonderful to see you.” My goodness. How handsome he’s grown. And no ring.                 

            2.  His jaw tightened. “It’s about time, Tim.” Moron. The clients have been twiddling their thumbs half the morning.
            3.  He ground his teeth. “Tim, how did you get in here?” Did he plant any bugs on his way in? I’m going to fire that airhead receptionist.
            4.  Time seemed to stop. “It’s Tim. Hide.” He said he’d find us. He said he’d kill us.

 We know exactly how the characters feel about Tim and why. Now we understand their motives and participate vicariously in their actions.

           1. Warmth washed over her face. “Tim. It’s wonderful to see you.” My goodness. How handsome he’s grown. And no ring. She tore her gaze from his soft eyes and patted the open stool next to her. “Join me for coffee?”               

            2.  His jaw tightened. “It’s about time, Tim.” Moron. The clients have been twiddling their thumbs half the morning. He grabbed Tim’s arm and dragged him toward the boardroom
            3.  He ground his teeth. “Tim, how did you get in here?” Did he plant any bugs on his way in? I’m going to fire that airhead receptionist. He punched the button that alerted security.
            4.  Time seemed to stop. “It’s Tim. Hide.” He said he’d find us. He said he’d kill us. She shoved the children behind the couch, grabbed the gun, and aimed at the door.

Using dialogue, visceral reaction, thoughts, and action, the writer draws his readers into the story world by allowing them to feel the characters’ emotions and participate in their actions. As the emotions meet obstacles, conflict heightens and the plot progresses.—Quinn

 

CONTEST

My last few blogs dealt with writing for children. A good way to hone your craft and get the attention of editors is by entering writing contests. Children’s Writer is sponsoring a contest called Kindergarten Story: Exploration. The publication is an e-mail newsletter read by editors of children’s books and magazines in North America. First prize will be $500; second will be $250; and third, fourth, and fifth will be $100. Submissions are due by July 12, 2013 and prizes will ne awarded by October, 2013.

Entries need to be fictional, their topic exploration, and they cannot exceed 150 words. The target is five through seven-year-olds, so use settings familiar to children of that age group and create a main character that explores an appropriate topic. Some suggestions for exploration include people, animals, nature, professions, and make-believe. The vocabulary should be fun, colorful, and on a level that most early learners can read. Use techniques covered on this blog and its archives and be sure to use normal story structure. That is, there must be a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Pay careful attention to the contest’s submission standards, especially to word length. They may be accessed at Children’s Writer by clicking on Guidelines in the sidebar—Quinn

Writing for Children-Part Three Non-Fiction

While non-fiction’s purpose is to impart well-researched information, non-fiction for children should retain the flavor of lively storytelling. It must be age appropriate with word and page restrictions identical to that of fiction. As with all stories, non-fiction’s structure consists of a beginning, middle, and an end.

Make the opener invoke curiosity, awe, and urgency. This can be done by using an anecdote, an amazing fact, a quote, or a quotation. A reason why the child should be interested in the topic must follow.

In the middle, present one fact at a time. Use short paragraphs and short sentences. Organize your information logically so the child understands sequentially. Break up narration with images, graphs, or timelines and compare difficult concepts to something easily visualized. Always use concrete language. Difficult words can be defined in the text.

The conclusion will be a summation and restatement of the beginning. A glossary, index, bibliography or a list of books for further reading can appear at the end.

The following describes several of the categories you can choose from if you decide to write non-fiction. Biographies are written for preschoolers as well as older children. Rather than only mentioning major events, anecdotal information is used and a large part of the story takes place in the subject’s childhood. How to and activity books use illustrations and materials lists along with step-by-step instructions. Behind the scenes books show how things work or are produced. Holiday books may deal with origins, traditions, or folk tales. Games, crafts, and songs may be included. History books cover one era, event, or topic. Sports and adventure books are lively, action-packed, and present basic information while using pictures. Museum books are primarily visual. Filled with color pictures and artwork, their subjects are explained directly and concisely. Science books cover many subjects. In the lower grades, some of the topics that interest children the most are dinosaurs, fossils, insects, weather, simple machines, habitats, and anatomy. For older children, subjects that relate to school curriculum are considered.

So, you are ready to write a non-fiction book. How do you choose your topic? Study your audience. Discover the leisure pursuits of the children in your targeted age group. Be familiar with the magazines they read and the news they see. Find out what interests young adults, for their tastes may have filtered down to the younger kids by the time you are published. Then research, using source materials.—Quinn

Children's Literature---Part Two Writing for Elementary Age Children

My last blog dealt with picture books and story books for preschoolers. Today, I’ll cover easy readers, chapter books, and middle grade novels, which are also quite structured.

Easy readers are written for children from kindergarten through second grade. Vocabulary is simple and illustrations, which may be in black and white or color, contain reading cues. They run between 1,000 and 1,500 words and 40 to 60 pages in length. The plots and settings are not complex. Though there is action, conflicts are not serious and they involve situations common to this age group.

Serving as a transition between picture books and novels, chapter books are aimed at children in the first through third grades. They may be illustrated. If so, it is with black and white drawings. At 1,500 to 10,000 and 40 to 80 pages in length, they require a longer attention span and a higher reading level. As in all stories, the plot must have a beginning, middle, and an end. Short three to four page chapters are self-contained but must serve to move the story along. Conflict is not serious.

Middle grade novels are written for third through sixth graders. Subjects are usually divided by gender. Books for boys deal with things traditionally masculine like sports and science. Stories for girls include traditionally feminine subjects like friendships, pets, and art. There are few if any illustrations. Typically, they run from 64 to 120 pages long and contain 10,000 to 16,000 words. Each of the eight to sixteen chapters has three scenes.

Like adult novels, the middle grade novel must have plot structure and character growth. It must be visually appealing starting with a realistic cover illustration. Inside, there must be balance between dense text and “white space,” accomplished by mixing dialogue and paragraphs. Sentences should be short, averaging ten words long and avoiding too many clauses. For vocabulary, use the easiest word that conveys the meaning. Rely on repetition, context, and intuition for understanding new or difficult words.

The story should be very visual and contain a lot of action and humor. While adults may be in the novel, the main character is a child. The story is told from his point of view and he reacts to situations as a child would. While likeable, he needs to be flawed in some manner. His voice should be light-hearted and intimate. Problems should be familiar to a kid’s world, and he must be the one who solves them. By the end of the book, he must change in some way.

Aside from the main plot, middle grade novels should have no more than two subplots. Characters should be slightly older than the reader. Popular genres are mysteries with kid detectives, fantasies that empower kids, and histories where a child is in a difficult situation. In addition to a physical description, humor, snappy dialogue, internal dialogue (thoughts), and gestures describe him. Humor can be visual gags, corny jokes, or ridiculous situations. However, bear in mind that he and the readers can’t process sarcasm and never let him poke fun at anyone’s expense.

The audience and market for easy readers still include adults. Adults are less involved in selecting chapter books, and middle graders choose their own books. To determine what kind of characters children can identify with, the writer should become familiar with kids’ conflicts, aspirations, and interests as well as how they think, talk, and perceive the world. The best way to do this is to observe them in various settings.

Next time we’ll look at non-fiction books for elementary children.—Quinn

Children's Literature--Part One Writing for the Preschooler

Perhaps the most difficult genre is children’s literature. This is because children are very literal and because there are constraints on vocabulary, age appropriateness, and word count. Also the theme must appeal to both the child and the adult who chooses his books.

Books for preschoolers are tightly structured. Typically, they are 24 or 32 pages long with four pages reserved for the title, copyright, dedications, and other information. Sometimes they run a little more or less, but they are always a multiple of eight. Word counts for picture books are less than 1,000 with less than 600 preferred. Picture storybooks are less than 2,000 words with 1,000-1,200 words preferred.

The word limitations make pacing very important. Each word on a page must move the story forward, provide action and variety, and at the same time flow well with the artwork. While benefitting from the illustrations, each story must stand on its own. Typically each book has 14 to 18 scenes with a single activity per scene. The genre comes in three categories: fiction, concept, and novelty books.

As with adult books, the fictional story must have a beginning, middle, and an end. At the outset, the main character, a child, is introduced along with some difficulty he must overcome. Story is conflict, so in the middle there must be three obstacles to overcome. Though the character tries and fails with the first one, he will get closer to his goal. The second obstacle is more difficult and the conflict more intense. The third obstacle is the most difficult and he almost fails. At the end, he both reaches his goal and has changed for the better in some way. While adults may have a role in him reaching the goal, he must be the one who conquers the problem.

The concept book can be fiction, following the above form, or non-fiction. It teaches an educational concept or suggests a way in which the child may overcome a childhood dilemma.

Novelty books can also be fiction or non-fiction. They use a gimmick such as seek-and-find, pop-ups, or lift-the-tabs in addition to story.

Stories appropriate for preschoolers include situations common to the child’s world, timely topics, diversity, and life passages. At this age, topics appealing to children must also appeal to parents. Adults tend to like stories that include nostalgia, relationships, and redeeming values.

In my next blog entry, I’ll discuss books for elementary and middle school children.—Quinn

First or Third?---Point of View

The holidays are behind us and you and your family have made a lot of memories. Many could make a good story. By the end of March, editors will have selected articles and stories for use in their 2013 holiday publications. So, now is the time to submit your work. If you are not ready for a magazine, consider newsletters, bulletins, or your local newspaper.

One of the first decisions to make before you start is which point of view to use in telling the story. The two most common are first person and third person. Each has advantages and disadvantages.

First person point of view feels most natural to the novice writer. It is simple and intimate, allowing the reader to see deep inside the point of view character’s thoughts. The story’s narrator is the main, or point of view, character. He refers to himself as I and usually tells the story in the past tense. He is part of the action, reveals his emotions and reasons for writing the story, and is aware of the audience. His voice reflects his background, education, and regional accent, not the author’s. An example is this snippet taken from Black Sunday, which may be viewed in its entirety by clicking the Black Sunday tab near the top of this page.

Guess I was too big for my britches. I looked over the boys real good. Thought they was all pretty poor quality. But, all that changed one night.

First I seed of Franklin Pierce Pettigrew was at a box social at Preacher Pettigrew’s. He’d breezed in from Texas on horseback. And my! From his Stetson to his boots, he looked mighty fine. Had a sassy smile that shivered my heart. But, oh was he a wild one.

Right now, the most popular point of view is third person, because it allows the reader to identify with the main character (MC). In third person, the narrator is an observer, not a character. The MC is referred to by name and the pronouns used are he or she. The reader has access to only the MC’s observations, thoughts, feelings, and memories. Though the story is told in past tense, it feels like the MC is experiencing everything in the present. The following is the Black Sunday snippet written in third person. It takes more words to tell the story, but the result is more immediate.

Caroline turned up her nose at the farm boys who were hanging over the fence railing and gawking at the girls. She flounced to a hay bale and sat with her back to them.

Mary Ann approached, handed her a frosty jelly jar filled with sweet tea, and sat next to her. “My, Caroline, seems you’ve caught the eye of half the young men in Guthrie.

Caroline tossed her curls. “I pay those chewing, spitting, hawg callers no never mind.”

“Hmm.” Mary Ann gave her a sly look. “I ‘spect you’ve got your bonnet set for one of those big-city boys. Wonder who.”

Caroline’s cheeks burned.

Yip! Yip! Ye, haw!

A cowboy on a black stallion galloped over the hill. The horse skirted the grassy area around the parsonage, kicking dust on the guests who lounged on the lawn with their suppers.

The pastor’s wife coughed and dusted her dress. “Franklin Pierce Pettigrew, you stop that showing off right now, or I’ll take a stick to you.”

The young man drew the horse up short and jumped from the saddle. “Aw, you talk so mean to your favorite nephew.”

He grabbed her, kissed her cheek, and swung her off her feet.

“Put me down, fool. I’m getting all dizzy.”

Franklin set her down. As his gaze fixed on Caroline, his sassy grin widened and his eyes grew bolder. He whipped off his Stetson and made a sweeping bow. “Howdy, ma’am.”

Caroline’s heart shivered. Unable to respond, she held her breath. This brash young cowboy was quite the finest man in all the territory.

Which point of view should you use? That depends on what “feels right” for your story and what you want to accomplish. First person feels more factual. The narrator is presenting the story and he and the reader are aware of each other. He can digress, make comments, maintain a comic distance. In third person, the reader can immerse himself in the story world and the lives of the characters. It feels natural and the narration is not distracting.

Now’s the time to write that story. If it’s not ready for publication, it still can delight your family and friends.—Quinn